The New Year is here. What direction should we go? We have many choices. Do we make New Year’s resolutions, set annual goals, or just keep going and hope for the best? Being an overachiever, I set spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical, home, and relational goals. Embarrassingly, mine resembles an operational document for a corporation. I prefer setting goals over resolutions because when I muff up, no worries. Just keep trying. Even if my goal-setting is delayed, I can start anytime.
This is extra-hard when your choices affect those you love. First, let’s have a moment of fun looking at how not to do it. Then, let’s reflect on some wisdom we can apply to make goals that will help us and our loved ones.
How not to make choices, resolutions, or goals!
When I was 15, my mother asked me if I would prefer to go to college or to juvenile detention. Wow. Suddenly, city college sounded fun!
When I registered, they asked what my major was based on my goals. No goals. No clue. I figured I would try one class of each subject. In English class, it was quickly apparent that the teacher was an alcoholic. Therefore, I wrote a paper on the evils of alcohol, which in retrospect was a bad choice, reflected later by my bad grade. Math was easy for me, so I made that my major. Did I have a goal for a career in math? No, I did not.
After a couple of years, I needed to decide which university to attend. I was 5’7” and 104 pounds. Not only did I have no muscle tone, I had no muscle. In PE class, I was constantly getting smacked in the head by balls. All I cared about was not being forced to take PE. My research showed that UC Berkeley did not coerce you to take PE, and the male-to-female ratio was 3 to 1, plenty of boys. Clearly, this was the best school for me. Only after I unpacked in my dorm did I discover that Berkeley was one of the top math schools in the country. Since I chose math because it was easy, did choosing a school where the subject is super hard align with my goals? No, it did not.
It turns out that if you take enough classes, you graduate. Then you are faced with choosing career goals. A friend and I thought it would be humorous to annoy our mothers after they paid for college. We got blue-collar jobs. That sounded way more fun than applying for statistician jobs. My friend became a roustabout in the oil fields. She got to wear a hard hat! Extremely cool. I became an auto mechanic on those little air-cooled VW beetles. We thought we were hilarious. Refer back to the 5’7” and 104 lbs. I spent more money on the chiropractor than I earned removing and replacing carburetors.
Now I was a skinny goal-free girl who most assuredly did not want to either teach math or calculate death statistics for an insurance company, and could not be an auto mechanic. I needed a goal. The only thing I knew was school. A graduate degree seemed like a good idea. I was living in Arizona, where it was over 100 degrees in the shade. I walked through every building on the college campus. The computer science building had fantastic air conditioning. So, guess who got a master’s in computer science?
What if I’d been in Maine or North Dakota instead of Arizona? I’d have searched for the warmest building. I’d be a glassblower. Perhaps life decisions should feel less like whim and caprice.
Silliness aside …
Suppose I had made actual decisions based on goals instead of my silly meandering through life. Major decisions, based on our goals and God’s guidance, shape the course of our lives. Hopefully, your life-changing decisions have been based on something wiser than laziness, being boy-crazy, annoying your mother, or the weather.
Then I had children, and whoa! Suddenly, goals seemed critical.
What questions do we ask when decisions are related to our children? We must choose schools for education, faith, services, and character development. It might not just be children. Perhaps we are caring for elders, or making choices that affect students, our families, or employees. How do we make wise decisions? Goals must be both worthwhile and within our grasp.
Wise Decision Making
We are faced with many decisions that feel life-saving or life-shattering. When the choices are for loved ones, it feels doubly important to get it right. We can ask the following questions to lead us into wisdom and growth in the new year:
- Will this help us reach our goals? Will it help the other person reach their goals?
- Are we enabling a loved one?
- Will this help keep everyone safe?
- Does this show love to all of us?
- Will this help or hinder others?
- Viewing this from several perspectives, what is the wisest choice?
- What obstacles will we encounter with this choice?
- Does this decision violate or support our boundaries?
Personal Goals
- What decision can I make to reflect my character and who I want to be?
- Will this add balance to my life?
- What do I need to do to stay true to my values?
- What do I love and enjoy?
- What would make me feel the best to see done?
- Does this support my top goals and ambitions in life?
- What areas of my life need improvement?
- What makes me feel fulfilled and energized?
- How can I take better care of myself?
- What habits do I need to build for success?
- After prayer, what do I believe God wants me to do?
Words of Encouragement
Sometimes we are faced with situations where it seems there are no good choices. Every choice we made for our son felt like it led to wrong outcomes. The only consistent result was that things got worse.
What do we do if the choice we make results in what feels like a hair-on-fire crisis? Remember, God can redeem any situation. We need not castigate ourselves for decisions we make when we are doing the best we can. We can’t see the future. There is no way to predict cruel circumstances or how another person will respond. Maybe the resulting path will teach our loved one depth of character.
We must make the best decision we can in the moment. We must believe everyone is doing the best they can. Without sacrificing our health and peace, we must support our loved ones through the wild twists and turns. And pray like crazy! Then, we must leave it in God’s hands.
Confidence from the Scriptures
- You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory (Psalm 73:24 NIV).
- He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake (Psalm 23:3 NIV).
- I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My loving eye upon you (Psalm 32:8 NIV).
- For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 2:6 NIV).
- In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6 NIV).
- If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you (James 1:5 NIV).
Everlasting Father, the depth of the riches of your wisdom and knowledge astound and comfort me. Guide me with your perfect counsel along the best and right paths. Instruct me and teach me in the way I should go. Generously bestow your perfect wisdom upon me that I might choose paths that bring growth and beauty in my life and love and healing in the lives of others. I ask for your blessings on this year 2026. Amen.
